Ok so I am the first to admit I love a good bar of chocolate, a piece of cake or even a great cupcake but I also have to admit how awful it makes me feel.
Not only, for me, does it bring on awful feelings of guilt and regret about eating it but also the regret that I have just damaged my body for no real reason other than indulgence.
I am not saying it is bad to indulge sometimes, I do it often especially in the form of retail!!, I am just saying that I forget that this little indulgence has a much bigger effect on my body than it does on my conscience.
After being the fat one for most of my life, the fat sister, the fat friend, one day I woke up and decided to make a change for good, I realised I just wanted to be ME. I have struggled for years with my weight and still do on a daily basis and this in turn brings its own issues. No matter how hard I try or how slim I become in my mindI will always be the fat one.
I was anorexic when I was younger, which has scarred me physically but more importantly mentally. It really is an illness which is so damaging and the effects are also long lasting. One of my lasting effects is when ever I ‘treat’ myself to something “unhealthy” I get instant fears of regret, guilt, self-hatred and I just turn into a neurotic mess. I try so hard to talk myself out of these but it gets so hard sometimes.
This is why I am making a change, I am making a conscience effort to break the habit of me looking in the mirror and just seeing the ‘fat’ me looking back at me, rather than seeing the person I have become now. I am not saying I don’t want to loose a few extra pounds, I really do, but I am saying that part of that is learning to accept the person I am.
I have been my ideal weight and felt great but had to quality of life as was SO STRICT it was unmaintanable and also unrealistic and unhealthy. I have to learn to accept the body I was given. For me that is the hardest thing of all.
This is partly why I am giving up refined sugar, my sanity, well what I have left of it!! But also we don’t realise what refined sugar actually does to our bodies. I want to make a change from the inside out.
Obviously people know it is not good for your weight but do people really realise what it does to our insides……??????
The website above is just one of many articles about the DANGERS OF REFINED SUGARS, it is TERRIFYING how serious the effects are.
I hope me sharing just a little of my story and neurosis will help people to see the seriousness and addictiveness of sugar.